White City All Stars Cricket Club: Match Report

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Match Report

White City All Stars vs Horningsham

May 2010

A multi-national White City XI featuring a mixture of kenspeckled faces and intriguing foreign talent made the trip to deepest Wiltshire on May 30th for the annual challenge match against James Oborne's Horningsham XI.

Cunningly the club captain had determined to travel in strength and the All Stars arrived at the Bath Arms with no fewer than 12 players. Sadly it turned out that playing depth ought not to be confused with playing strength as, beneath perfect blue skies and in tip-top conditions, the home side edged a splendid encounter by three wickets with just seven balls to spare.

Winning the toss and electing to bat, Oborne selected a veteran opening pair - Coales and Clarke, N - to see off the new ball. This was not quite accomplished even if 21 runs were added, via a mixture of prods (Coales), biffs (Clarke) and edges (both) before Clarke was caught and bowled by Widdows for 11.

Coales fell soon after, for 13, playing around a delivery that, by some telling, swung both ways or, by another version, was perfectly straight. Such are the discrepancies of translation.

Massie, meanwhile was playing and missing more than he was connecting, much to the irritation of the Horningsham attack in general and Lock most particularly. Nevertheless, by luck as much as anything, he scrabbled to 38 with the highlight being taking 10 off James Oborne's opening over. Clan Oborne would have its revenge, however, and when Tom Oborne (aged: not very much) sent down a flighted one Massie trotted down the wicket, missed it by half a yard and was stumped by three.

At the other end, Studholme had played a brace of sumptuous drives through extra cover and looked to be in elegant touch before falling to Oborne, J. That brought the prize wicket of Oborne, N to the crease and a ripple of, if not anticipation, then extra interest meandered through the assembled villagers watching from the pavilion.

Oborne Minimus vs Oborne Minor proved a short-lived encounter however and age defeated once-precocious youth as James Oborne dismissed his brother, Nick, for a meagre six. Laughter was heard and so was cursing as the batsman returned, defeated, from the field.

Shenfield, meanwhile, was batting in fine style with one splendid, on the knee, buccaneering off drive being the highlight of a scurrying 24 before holing out to Oborne, T off the bowling of Widdows. "The Widowmaker" would in fact finish with 5/33 but it was Reeves who struck next, bowling Beard for 5.

With the White City innings needing some additional momentum, Peter Oborne strode to the wicket and, after familiarising himself with matters, set about the home attack in fine style, belting the ball over midwicket in fine, lusty style. For a moment it looked as though the skipper would carry White City past the psychologically-crushing 200 mark. But it was not to be as a flail and an edge left him caught behind off, yes, Widdows for 27.

That left matters to the Foreign Legion: Dimitar (Bulgaria) and Alexis (France) plus Sam Clarke. Dimitar stole a single to midwicket - a moment doubtlessly as precious as scoring any goal in the Bulgarian First Division - but, alas, Alexis failed to trouble the scorers and when Clarke Jr was bowled Jones was left stranded on 15 not out and the visiting All Stars were all out for a healthy, even competitive, 168.

Tea was duly taken before Beard and Jones opened the bowling for White City, putting Grugeon and White under pressure. The latter was bowled for 4 by Jones while the former was splendidly caught by Dimitar for 5, again off the bowling of Jones.

At this stage White City were on top. Sadly not all good things can last an Reeves and Lock began to put a partnership together. In this they were aided by Oborne's eccentric decision to grant Massie no fewer than seven overs of spinless slow left-arm "spin".

Nevertheless, at the other end Nick Oborne was nagging away in fine fashion and deserved the wickets of Reeves (LBW) and Lock (caught, again, by Dimitar). When the skipper pouched a smart chance at slip to dismiss Widdows for 4 the brothers Oborne had combined to give White City the upper hand once again.

Oborne, N gained some measure of revenge when he had his brother James caught behind for 22 but, alas, this still meant that Oborne J was 16 runs to the good in their personal Single Wicket War.

Meanwhile, O'Connor was driving everyone to distraction. Not so much due to his batting - effective though that was - but by his calling and running between the wickets which had an unfortunate manic air about them as he hurtled up and down the wicket, open-mouthed, white hair flowing and looking for all the world like a more mobile Michael Foot.

He was given sterling support from gunning however and though Beard - recovering from a radar malfunction that produced more wides that was either seemly or useful - had him caught behind for 23 the odds were, with three wickets in hand, marginally in Horningsham's favour as the final 20 overs came and went.

A draw suddenly looked like White City's best hope and deserved fate. But it was not to be as O'Connor and Stern stood firm to see the home side home, at 169/7, with but an over to spare. Extras and dropped catches proved too costly in the end.

An excellent day's cricket, then, in which the All Stars acquitted themselves with aplomb but found that aplomb wasn't quite enough to carry the day. Cricket, we consoled ourselves, was the real winner.

Alex Massie

White City:

W Coales b Gunning 13
N Clarke c & b Widdows 11
A Massie st O'Connor b T Oborne 38
A Studholme c Widdows b J Oborne 15
N Oborne c Widdows b J Oborne 6
M Shenfield c T Oborne b Widdows 24
A Beard b Reeves 5
J Jones Not Out 15
P Oborne c O'Connor b Widdows 27
Dimitar c J Oborne b Widdows 1
Alexis st O'Connor b Stern 0
S Clarke b Widdows 1

Extras: 12

Total: 168 All Out

Bowling: Widdows 9-33-5, White 5-8-0, Lock 9-8-0, Gunning 5-23-1, C O'Connor 2-7-0, T Oborne 6-24-1, J Oborne 7-21-2, Reeves 3-14-1, Stern 3-22-0

Horningsham:

Grugeon c Dimitar b Jones 5
White b Jones 4
Reeves lbw N Oborne 26
Lock c Dimitar b N Oborne 19
Widdows c P Oborne b N Oborne 4
J Oborne c Studholme b N Oborne 22
D O'Connor Not Out 37
Gunning c Studholme b Beard 23
Stern Not Out 4
Crossman Did Not Bat
C O'Connor Did Not Bat
T Oborne Did Not Bat

Extras: 25

Total: 169/7

Bowling: Beard 11-38-1, Jones 6-12-2, Massie 7-42-0, N Oborne 10-21-4, S Clarke 4-24-0, Coales 3-22-0

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Tarry, Tarry Night

A fascinating debate amongst some members has emerged about the digestive effects of Guinness. It is an important discussion, given the increasing old age and Guinness consumption of many members, especially on Tour. It began when one All Star belatedly complained about the captioning of a picture of a tray of Guinness as "7 pints of spastic colon" on the grounds that it is "offensive to disabled people" and "generally unpleasant and disgusting". The blogmaster disputed the complaint, arguing that far from being an offensive term, Spastic Colon is one of the accepted medical terms for Irritable Bowel Syndrome and generally refers to erratic bowel movements – “such as one is pretty well certain to suffer after drinking large quantities of Guinness”. This assertion was based on his own experience and anecdotal evidence, particularly on the Irish Tour. He also argued, perhaps rashly, that this is understood by Guinness drinkers all over the world. Another member, asked for support by the complainant, could not comply and instead wrote: "I can confirm (both from experience and consulting with my surgeon uncle) that [blogmaster] is correct regarding the relationship between irritable bowel sydrome, a spastic colon and 7 pints of the black stuff. Hence the fact that I only drink lager on tour." The complaint appears to have been based on the irrational and fundamentally ignorant fear that other forces might use the term "spastic colon" against the mildly famous complainant.

Internet research demonstrates that "spastic colon" is a perfectly acceptable phrase, but what of the "Guinness effect"? How widespread is it? A fascinating blog site called "IBS Tales. Personal experiences of irritable bowel syndrome" (http://www.ibstales.com/men_and_diarrhea_3.htm) gives a clue, albeit implicitly: "I started a new job in the September of that year meaning I could move back to an area we knew. Things did seem to get a bit better (slowly) and I was not in as much pain. Slowly but surely I started to go to the pub with my team at lunch time, I even dared myself to try a Guinness! Heaven for 15 minutes, hell for three days! But by the November I was OK again, almost back to my pre-IBS days."

On the other hand, the equally captivating fartygirl.blogspot.com (http://fartygirl.blogspot.com/2011/04/ive-been-bad-bad-gluten-free-vegan.html) contains the testimony: “The thought of living a life without Guinness killed me. Then I read somewhere that some touchy stomachs can handle Guinness. This is because Guinness is wheat free, made from barley. I drank Guinness and I continue to drink Guinness. It gives me NO problems.”

(Incidentally, if you are doing your own internet research do not be diverted by a website called www.doodlekisses.com as that is about a dog called Guinness which happens to suffer from IBS.)

One member of the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Self Help and Support Group(http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/74144-alcohol-and-ibs/page__p__121147__hl__guinness__fromsearch__1#entry121147) says: “Guinness can give the most regular drinkers problems the next day also.” And in the website MedHelp (http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Gastroenterology/Re-black-and-tarry-stools--guinness/show/440172), under the heading “Black and tarry stools” a contributor writes: “I have found that drinking guinness causes me to have these foul things. Is this a universal effect of guinness or a possible indicator of something wrong with my insides?” There was no satisfactory response.

Members may also find limited further general insight into the subject on the Poopreport website (http://www.poopreport.com/Doctor/Knowledgebase/beer_and_poop.html). The man who had to shave his buttocks tells a particularly enchanting tale.

All Stars should email the blogmaster with their own experiences (whitecityallstar@aol.com). Their identities will be kept strictly confidential, if that is their wish. This topic could run and run.

All Stars news

Media tributes to Tom Beard

- http://www.theguardian.com/stage/2015/jul/28/tom-beard?CMP=share_btn_fb

- http://www.ok.co.uk/celebrity-news/actor-tom-beard-dies-cancer

- https://www.thestage.co.uk/news/2015/actor-tom-beard-dies-aged-50/

- http://www.whatsonstage.com/london-theatre/news/actor-tom-beard-dies-aged-50_38345.html

- http://www.playbill.com/news/article/stage-and-screen-actor-tom-beard-known-for-bridget-jones-diary-dies-at-age-50-353717

- http://www.broadwayworld.com/article/BRIDGET-JONES-Theater-Star-Tom-Beard-Dies-at-50-20150721#

- Peter Oborne has published another book, Wounded Tiger: a history of Cricket in Pakistan.

July 2014

-Damien D'Oliveira has died of cancer at the age of 53. A wonderful, kind, modest man, he was also a great help to Peter O and Paul Y in their documentary about his great father Basil. He was a fine cricketer and a superb coach. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family.

29 June 2014

- Glowing profile of Alex Beard in The Times - see post, right.

- Congratulations to occasional Tourist and one-time self-proclaimed All Stars captain, Amol Rajan, who has been appointed Editor of The Independent. He was previously Editor of Independent Voices, a comment, campaigns and community platform across print and digital. He also wrote a book called Twirlymen: the Unlikely History of Cricket's Greatest Spin Bowlers and plays for the distinguished Authors XI.

- Richard Greene of Halverston Cricket Club writes with very sad news:

Alan Ruddock's father John died on Friday 17^th May 2013. He had been in hospital for a short time. He was a huge cricket fan, often staying up all night to watch or listen to Test matches. He had been a schoolteacher and headmaster but his real passion was as an impressario. He brought over and promoted many classical performers from Eastern Europe in particular, and nurtured them in their early careers with concerts in Limerick and Dublin and sometimes in London. Many are now major international names. He told me recently that he had just held his 800th concert! John was greatly distressed by Alan's death and missed him enormously particularly as Doreen his wife had died about five years previously. He is survived by Gillian his daughter.”

The funeral is on Tuesday 10.30 in the same church as Alan in Dalkey.

Gill's address is:

Gillian McCutcheon

Gortnamona

Killiney Hill Road

Co Dublin

- Alex Beard becomes a fully-fledged Grandee: having been made a Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire (CBE) for services to the arts in the New Year Honours at the end of 2012, Alex has also been named the next Chief Executive Officer of the Royal Opera House (see post, right). It is a well-deserved appointment, although we have never quite forgiven him for auctioning off the Tate Gallery's cellar of fine wines.

- Following Basil D'Oliveira's death, word is out that Paul Yule and the acclaimed producer Andy Harries are working towards a feature film about him, based on Peter Oborne's biography. The script has already been written by Oscar-winning screenwriter Sir Ronald Harwood.

- "Basil d'Oliveira, the great South African and England cricketer, who has died aged 80, was easily the most distinguished White City tourist. He came to Ireland with us in 2003 and it is safe to say that he was not awestruck by the standard of our cricket. He also outshone most of us off the field and Tim Shipman, who was on that tour, records: 'I have never met anyone who I felt so exuded greatness in their company'. "(P.Oborne)

PS Does anyone on that tour have any photos of Basil for use here?

- Nigel Whittaker, an active All Star in the 80s and early 90s and enduring friend of older members, died on February 20th aged only 62. An extremely accomplished man, he was the founding finance director of Woolworth Group when it was bought out in 1982. His other roles included chairman of B&Q and Kingfisher group communications director. He was also a passionate and able cricketer; at his other club, the Fleet Street Strollers, he held for many years the record for highest individual score - 152 not out v West Herts in 1990.

- Peter Swaab, All Star founder member and distinguished academic, is to publish a new book, Bringing Up Baby, which examines, in part, "the wild abnormalities of romance" (see post, right)

- Richard Heller's new cricket novel, The Network, the sequel to A Tale of Ten Wickets, has been published by Bearmondsey Publishing and is now available (see post, right).

- Peter Oborne has made new documentary, Pakistan: After the Floods, which appears in the Unreported World series on Channel 4, Friday 5th Novenber.

- Peter Oborne returns after a summer largely away from the public prints, with his new column at the Daily Telegraph (Sept 26 2010) and a Channel 4 Dispatches documentary, entitled Tabloids, Tories and Telephone Hacking.

- There is to be a memorial service for Alan Ruddock on Thursday 16th Sept in St Bride's, Fleet Street at 11.30am.

- Paul Yule makes new documentary with Nicholas Shakespeare about the charismatic writer Bruce Chatwin August 8 2010 (see post, New Yule documentary, right)

- Tony Oakshett's gigantic depictions of the lost Armada Tapestries formally unveiled at House of Lords July 6 2010 (see post, Oakshett's Triumph, right)

- Sunday Independent names award for Irish International Cricketer of the Year, 'The Alan Ruddock Trophy' June 1 2010

- Alan Ruddock dies playing cricket May 30 2010

- Danny Alexander appointed Chief Secretary to the HM Treasury May 29 2010

- ALTON TOWERS: Roger Alton (former editor of the Independent and the Observer) to join The Times as joint executive editor May 25 2010

- Peter Oborne appointed columnist at Daily Telegraph May 19 2010

- Danny Alexander appointed Secretary of State for Scotland May 12 201

White City All Stars: a brief history

The All Stars were formed in 1984 primarily by two friends from Cambridge, Peter Oborne and Peter Stevenson, who were joint captains of the team and instituted an annual Irish cricket tour which continues to this day, albeit with a constantly changing roll of players. Many of the originals have dropped out due to death, apathy, parenthood or other forms of incapacity. The team also plays annually at Horningsham in Wiltshire, family home of the extended Obornes.

It is claimed, however, that the above version is revisionist whitewash, and that Peter Stevenson was introduced as sole captain after Oborne and his real co-founder, Nick Stoop, could not make a joint-captaincy work. Against this version of events is the fact that Oborne and Stevenson were successful joint captains for a great many years. Anyone who can shed authoritative light on this dark period in the All Stars' history should contact this site.

Members and Players over the years

Over the years, members and players include or have included Danny Alexander, Tony Alt, Roger Alton, Alex Beard, Tom Beard, Sean Bellew, Henry Bellingham, Richard Beswick, Dimitar Bojkov, Mihir Bose, Charles Carrington, Sam Clarke, Jeremy Clarke, Giles Clarke, Nigel Clarke, Bill Coales, Patrick Cobb, John Coyle (decd), Basil D'Oliveira (decd), George Dudley, Nigel Dudley, Alex Evans, Nick Evans, Matthew Fosh, Rupert Gordon-Walker, Stephen Hargrave, Richard Heller, Harry Holt, Richard Horlick, Jack Howard, Adam Jacot de Boinod, James Jones, Jimmy the Bus Driver, Mark Jones, Tim Kavanagh, Titch Kavanagh, Alex Kelly, John Kiely, Dominic Lawson, Jonathan Marland, Alex Massie, Conolly McCausland, Damien McCrystal (Life President), Kit McCrystal, Will Middleton, Nick Miles, Willie Mullins, Andrew Nixon, Frank Northbrook, Tony Oakshett, George Oborne, James Oborne, Nick Oborne, Peter Oborne (Joint Captain), Tom Oborne, William Oborne, Andre Odendaal, James Osborne, Chris Pressley, Dominic Prince, Jack Prince, Jeshuran Rajasingham, Jeff Randall, Tim Razzall, Alan Ruddock (decd), Joe Saumarez Smith, Charles Scott-Plummer, Marcus Scriven, Adrian Sells, Tubby Shenfield, Tim Shipman, Peter Shwab, Richard Shwab, George Sitwell, William Sitwell, Harry Snook, Nick Somper, Peter Stevenson (Joint Captain), Nick Stoop (Co-founder), Andre Studholme, James Studholme, Ric White, Nigel Whittaker (decd) and Paul Yule.