Thursday, June 17, 2010

Match Report

White City All Stars vs Horningsham
May 2010

A multi-national White City XI featuring a mixture of kenspeckled faces and intriguing foreign talent made the trip to deepest Wiltshire on May 30th for the annual challenge match against James Oborne's Horningsham XI.


Cunningly the club captain had determined to travel in strength and the All Stars arrived at the Bath Arms with no fewer than 12 players. Sadly it turned out that playing depth ought not to be confused with playing strength as, beneath perfect blue skies and in tip-top conditions, the home side edged a splendid encounter by three wickets with just seven balls to spare.

Winning the toss and electing to bat, Oborne selected a veteran opening pair - Coales and Clarke, N - to see off the new ball. This was not quite accomplished even if 21 runs were added, via a mixture of prods (Coales), biffs (Clarke) and edges (both) before Clarke was caught and bowled by Widdows for 11.

Coales fell soon after, for 13, playing around a delivery that, by some telling, swung both ways or, by another version, was perfectly straight. Such are the discrepancies of translation.

Massie, meanwhile was playing and missing more than he was connecting, much to the irritation of the Horningsham attack in general and Lock most particularly. Nevertheless, by luck as much as anything, he scrabbled to 38 with the highlight being taking 10 off James Oborne's opening over. Clan Oborne would have its revenge, however, and when Tom Oborne (aged: not very much) sent down a flighted one Massie trotted down the wicket, missed it by half a yard and was stumped by three.

At the other end, Studholme had played a brace of sumptuous drives through extra cover and looked to be in elegant touch before falling to Oborne, J. That brought the prize wicket of Oborne, N to the crease and a ripple of, if not anticipation, then extra interest meandered through the assembled villagers watching from the pavilion.

Oborne Minimus vs Oborne Minor proved a short-lived encounter however and age defeated once-precocious youth as James Oborne dismissed his brother, Nick, for a meagre six. Laughter was heard and so was cursing as the batsman returned, defeated, from the field.

Shenfield, meanwhile, was batting in fine style with one splendid, on the knee, buccaneering off drive being the highlight of a scurrying 24 before holing out to Oborne, T off the bowling of Widdows. "The Widowmaker" would in fact finish with 5/33 but it was Reeves who struck next, bowling Beard for 5.

With the White City innings needing some additional momentum, Peter Oborne strode to the wicket and, after familiarising himself with matters, set about the home attack in fine style, belting the ball over midwicket in fine, lusty style. For a moment it looked as though the skipper would carry White City past the psychologically-crushing 200 mark. But it was not to be as a flail and an edge left him caught behind off, yes, Widdows for 27.

That left matters to the Foreign Legion: Dimitar (Bulgaria) and Alexis (France) plus Sam Clarke. Dimitar stole a single to midwicket - a moment doubtlessly as precious as scoring any goal in the Bulgarian First Division - but, alas, Alexis failed to trouble the scorers and when Clarke Jr was bowled Jones was left stranded on 15 not out and the visiting All Stars were all out for a healthy, even competitive, 168.

Tea was duly taken before Beard and Jones opened the bowling for White City, putting Grugeon and White under pressure. The latter was bowled for 4 by Jones while the former was splendidly caught by Dimitar for 5, again off the bowling of Jones.

At this stage White City were on top. Sadly not all good things can last an Reeves and Lock began to put a partnership together. In this they were aided by Oborne's eccentric decision to grant Massie no fewer than seven overs of spinless slow left-arm "spin".

Nevertheless, at the other end Nick Oborne was nagging away in fine fashion and deserved the wickets of Reeves (LBW) and Lock (caught, again, by Dimitar). When the skipper pouched a smart chance at slip to dismiss Widdows for 4 the brothers Oborne had combined to give White City the upper hand once again.

Oborne, N gained some measure of revenge when he had his brother James caught behind for 22 but, alas, this still meant that Oborne J was 16 runs to the good in their personal Single Wicket War.

Meanwhile, O'Connor was driving everyone to distraction. Not so much due to his batting - effective though that was - but by his calling and running between the wickets which had an unfortunate manic air about them as he hurtled up and down the wicket, open-mouthed, white hair flowing and looking for all the world like a more mobile Michael Foot.

He was given sterling support from gunning however and though Beard - recovering from a radar malfunction that produced more wides that was either seemly or useful - had him caught behind for 23 the odds were, with three wickets in hand, marginally in Horningsham's favour as the final 20 overs came and went.

A draw suddenly looked like White City's best hope and deserved fate. But it was not to be as O'Connor and Stern stood firm to see the home side home, at 169/7, with but an over to spare. Extras and dropped catches proved too costly in the end.

An excellent day's cricket, then, in which the All Stars acquitted themselves with aplomb but found that aplomb wasn't quite enough to carry the day. Cricket, we consoled ourselves, was the real winner.
Alex Massie
White City:

W Coales b Gunning 13
N Clarke c & b Widdows 11
A Massie st O'Connor b T Oborne 38
A Studholme c Widdows b J Oborne 15
N Oborne c Widdows b J Oborne 6
M Shenfield c T Oborne b Widdows 24
A Beard b Reeves 5
J Jones Not Out 15
P Oborne c O'Connor b Widdows 27
Dimitar c J Oborne b Widdows 1
Alexis st O'Connor b Stern 0
S Clarke b Widdows 1

Extras: 12

Total: 168 All Out

Bowling: Widdows 9-33-5, White 5-8-0, Lock 9-8-0, Gunning 5-23-1, C O'Connor 2-7-0, T Oborne 6-24-1, J Oborne 7-21-2, Reeves 3-14-1, Stern 3-22-0

Horningsham:

Grugeon c Dimitar b Jones 5
White b Jones 4
Reeves lbw N Oborne 26
Lock c Dimitar b N Oborne 19
Widdows c P Oborne b N Oborne 4
J Oborne c Studholme b N Oborne 22
D O'Connor Not Out 37
Gunning c Studholme b Beard 23
Stern Not Out 4
Crossman Did Not Bat
C O'Connor Did Not Bat
T Oborne Did Not Bat

Extras: 25

Total: 169/7

Bowling: Beard 11-38-1, Jones 6-12-2, Massie 7-42-0, N Oborne 10-21-4, S Clarke 4-24-0, Coales 3-22-0

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(L to R) Stephen Frears, Andy Harries, Sir Ronald Harwood, and Peter Oborne having lunch at The Groucho Club in August 2011 to discuss the proposed feature film about Basil D'Oliveira. Photo by Paul Yule.

Tarry, Tarry Night

A fascinating debate amongst some members has emerged about the digestive effects of Guinness. It is an important discussion, given the increasing old age and Guinness consumption of many members, especially on Tour. It began when one All Star belatedly complained about the captioning of a picture of a tray of Guinness as "7 pints of spastic colon" on the grounds that it is "offensive to disabled people" and "generally unpleasant and disgusting". The blogmaster disputed the complaint, arguing that far from being an offensive term, Spastic Colon is one of the accepted medical terms for Irritable Bowel Syndrome and generally refers to erratic bowel movements – “such as one is pretty well certain to suffer after drinking large quantities of Guinness”. This assertion was based on his own experience and anecdotal evidence, particularly on the Irish Tour. He also argued, perhaps rashly, that this is understood by Guinness drinkers all over the world. Another member, asked for support by the complainant, could not comply and instead wrote: "I can confirm (both from experience and consulting with my surgeon uncle) that [blogmaster] is correct regarding the relationship between irritable bowel sydrome, a spastic colon and 7 pints of the black stuff. Hence the fact that I only drink lager on tour." The complaint appears to have been based on the irrational and fundamentally ignorant fear that other forces might use the term "spastic colon" against the mildly famous complainant.

Internet research demonstrates that "spastic colon" is a perfectly acceptable phrase, but what of the "Guinness effect"? How widespread is it? A fascinating blog site called "IBS Tales. Personal experiences of irritable bowel syndrome" (http://www.ibstales.com/men_and_diarrhea_3.htm) gives a clue, albeit implicitly: "I started a new job in the September of that year meaning I could move back to an area we knew. Things did seem to get a bit better (slowly) and I was not in as much pain. Slowly but surely I started to go to the pub with my team at lunch time, I even dared myself to try a Guinness! Heaven for 15 minutes, hell for three days! But by the November I was OK again, almost back to my pre-IBS days."

On the other hand, the equally captivating fartygirl.blogspot.com (http://fartygirl.blogspot.com/2011/04/ive-been-bad-bad-gluten-free-vegan.html) contains the testimony: “The thought of living a life without Guinness killed me. Then I read somewhere that some touchy stomachs can handle Guinness. This is because Guinness is wheat free, made from barley. I drank Guinness and I continue to drink Guinness. It gives me NO problems.”

(Incidentally, if you are doing your own internet research do not be diverted by a website called www.doodlekisses.com as that is about a dog called Guinness which happens to suffer from IBS.)

One member of the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Self Help and Support Group(http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/74144-alcohol-and-ibs/page__p__121147__hl__guinness__fromsearch__1#entry121147) says: “Guinness can give the most regular drinkers problems the next day also.” And in the website MedHelp (http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Gastroenterology/Re-black-and-tarry-stools--guinness/show/440172), under the heading “Black and tarry stools” a contributor writes: “I have found that drinking guinness causes me to have these foul things. Is this a universal effect of guinness or a possible indicator of something wrong with my insides?” There was no satisfactory response.

Members may also find limited further general insight into the subject on the Poopreport website (http://www.poopreport.com/Doctor/Knowledgebase/beer_and_poop.html). The man who had to shave his buttocks tells a particularly enchanting tale.

All Stars should email the blogmaster with their own experiences (whitecityallstar@aol.com). Their identities will be kept strictly confidential, if that is their wish. This topic could run and run.

Tarry, Tarry Night - addendum

- Mark Jones, whose wife used to be a nurse so knows her stuff, says that the link between Guinness and the gastrocolic reflux is proven.

- The original complainant is sticking to his guns (and perhaps other things) and feels that blogmaster must change the caption - to "7 pints of erectile dysfunction". Well, he should know...



Suitably arty pic of the Tate's dep director Alex Beard - 2011 tour

Athlone again, naturally - 2011 tour

Zoltan the Driver - 2011 tour

Nigel Whittaker 1948 - 2011

Nigel Whittaker 1948 - 2011
Nigel batting at a Victor Blank charity cricket day

Nigel Whittaker meeting Shane Warne, a cricketing idol

The Ruddock Cup

The Ruddock Cup
Purchased at auction Weds 9 June by Bill Coales, to be engraved and then fought over in an annual memorial match between the All Stars and Halverstown CC. Not to be confused with The Alan Ruddock Trophy (see All Stars news). This came from an inspired idea by Jesh Rajasingham and was quickly approved by all others, with much research put in by Alex Beard and Bill Coales.

Flying the Flag

Flying the Flag
Iinauguration of the White City flag, v Kerry CCC, August 2007: b row - J Rajasingham, W Oborne, H Snook, M Shenfield, G Dudley, Local Ringer; f row - T Razzall, W Coales, P Oborne, J Oborne, P Yule.

One from the photo archives

One from the photo archives
The Irish Tour line-up 1988 - (back) Shwab C, Beard T, Oborne P, Ruddock A, Shwab P, Coyle J (front) McCrystal D, Beard A, Stevenson P, Kiely J, Pressley C

More from the archives

More from the archives
Beautiful Mount Juliet

Cricket Tea

Titch: "This rhubarb tastes funny..."

Tim Kavanagh and Oborne P

Stevenson and Beard A in the tour bus

Rathmore

Rathmore
Ruddock (centre) with Stevenson and Beard, Rathmore 2008

Rathmore

Rathmore
Ruddock (left) with Coales, McCrystal, Stevenson and Yule, Rathmore 2008

Drenagh

Drenagh
Drenagh, Co Derry, 2009. Back row - Roger Alton, Martin Shenfield, James Jones, Bill Coales, Joe Saumarez Smith, Paul Yule; middle row - Danny Alexander, Conolly McCausland, Peter Oborne (capt); front row - William Sitwell, Will Middleton, Alex Kelly