A fascinating debate amongst some members has emerged about the digestive effects of Guinness. It is an important discussion, given the increasing old age and Guinness consumption of many members, especially on Tour. It began when one All Star belatedly complained about the captioning of a picture of a tray of Guinness as "7 pints of spastic colon" on the grounds that it is "offensive to disabled people" and "generally unpleasant and disgusting". The blogmaster disputed the complaint, arguing that far from being an offensive term, Spastic Colon is one of the accepted medical terms for Irritable Bowel Syndrome and generally refers to erratic bowel movements – “such as one is pretty well certain to suffer after drinking large quantities of Guinness”. This assertion was based on his own experience and anecdotal evidence, particularly on the Irish Tour. He also argued, perhaps rashly, that this is understood by Guinness drinkers all over the world. Another member, asked for support by the complainant, could not comply and instead wrote: "I can confirm (both from experience and consulting with my surgeon uncle) that [blogmaster] is correct regarding the relationship between irritable bowel sydrome, a spastic colon and 7 pints of the black stuff. Hence the fact that I only drink lager on tour." The complaint appears to have been based on the irrational and fundamentally ignorant fear that other forces might use the term "spastic colon" against the mildly famous complainant.
Internet research demonstrates that "spastic colon" is a perfectly acceptable phrase, but what of the "Guinness effect"? How widespread is it? A fascinating blog site called "IBS Tales. Personal experiences of irritable bowel syndrome" (http://www.ibstales.com/men_and_diarrhea_3.htm) gives a clue, albeit implicitly: "I started a new job in the September of that year meaning I could move back to an area we knew. Things did seem to get a bit better (slowly) and I was not in as much pain. Slowly but surely I started to go to the pub with my team at lunch time, I even dared myself to try a Guinness! Heaven for 15 minutes, hell for three days! But by the November I was OK again, almost back to my pre-IBS days."
On the other hand, the equally captivating fartygirl.blogspot.com (http://fartygirl.blogspot.com/2011/04/ive-been-bad-bad-gluten-free-vegan.html) contains the testimony: “The thought of living a life without Guinness killed me. Then I read somewhere that some touchy stomachs can handle Guinness. This is because Guinness is wheat free, made from barley. I drank Guinness and I continue to drink Guinness. It gives me NO problems.”
(Incidentally, if you are doing your own internet research do not be diverted by a website called www.doodlekisses.com as that is about a dog called Guinness which happens to suffer from IBS.)
One member of the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Self Help and Support Group(http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/74144-alcohol-and-ibs/page__p__121147__hl__guinness__fromsearch__1#entry121147) says: “Guinness can give the most regular drinkers problems the next day also.” And in the website MedHelp (http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Gastroenterology/Re-black-and-tarry-stools--guinness/show/440172), under the heading “Black and tarry stools” a contributor writes: “I have found that drinking guinness causes me to have these foul things. Is this a universal effect of guinness or a possible indicator of something wrong with my insides?” There was no satisfactory response.
Members may also find limited further general insight into the subject on the Poopreport website (http://www.poopreport.com/Doctor/Knowledgebase/beer_and_poop.html). The man who had to shave his buttocks tells a particularly enchanting tale.
All Stars should email the blogmaster with their own experiences (whitecityallstar@aol.com). Their identities will be kept strictly confidential, if that is their wish. This topic could run and run.
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